Painful
by AGuyNamedCheese
Summary: A FoxXKrystal oneshot. I'm sorry if I rushed again on this. I'm not very good ; Rated M for sexual themes, nudity, gay paparazzi, Slayer, an HIV scare and novice writing. Enjoy P, AGuyNamedCheese.


All Starfox characters belong to its creator and the rest of Nintendo who made this legendary game possible, especially the video game god Shigeru Miyamoto. You rock. And yes, I like Starfox Adventures. And Krystal. **Don't complain about it. **The songs used are "I Remember" by Stabbing Westward, off the self-titled album, released in 2001 and "Forever Or Never" by Cinema Bizarre, off their 2007 album Final Attraction. All rights belong to their original owners.

"Wait! Wh-where are you going?" a certain red fox cried. His mind was scrambled. One minute he told Krystal he loved her. The next, she was running away. And she was running damn fast for a vixen in heels.

With a gasping breath she said "I'm sorry Fox, I just can't do this anymore" Fox's eyeball grew out of their sockets surprisingly and yelled "Do what? I thought the past was the past and that would be the end of it!"

Tears drowning her face, she said "Well I've noticed something. Once I am hurt, I am **always **hurt. Especially by you."

Fox whipped off his pilot jacket, and still his green t-shirt soaked up sweat. Fox wished this was all a dream and to test this, he pinched himself. Normally, this would work but he was still there. His reaction to finding out this was real-life broke the barriers of his mind. It was almost a competition to see who could cry most. **But it wasn't. **It was only Krystal breaking up with Fox. With a loud grunt she wailed "I'm leaving Starfox. This is not the life for me. Goodbye Fox"

Fox stood attentively with a soldier's salute and simply said "Farewell Krystal. May we meet again" and when her fighter left the docking bay, Fox muttered "And I love you"

Falco and Slippy watched Krystal leave. Slippy was sympathetic for his friend who just got dumped however Falco guffawed "Oi, Foxie just got buttslammed!" Slippy elbowed his stomach "**Not helping, Falco Lombardi"**

Fox had a serious frown on his frown. Though he had a good night's sleep, he still looked like he was an insomniac. And the effects of Krystal leaving him were the same. He searched for the ship's communicator which in time got an incoming call from General Peppy Hare. "Attention, Starfox crew! We need you to do a patrol of Sauria. Reports say there have been criminals lurking around putting people in danger. And we need you guys to search it. Wait…where's Krystal?"

Slippy sighed "She left Fox and she turned off her Navigation so her current position is unknown. I'm sorry Fox"

Fox grumbled "No, it's **my fault** that she left me. After all, I **did **act like a jerk to her. Peppy, I'm sorry, I'm probably gonna work now"

Peppy didn't want to see a friend get hurt "No, Fox, you stay. I think you are medically unfit for the job. Just relax and I'll send you a counsellor. Falco, Slippy, please patrol Sauria. Falco, can you lead this mission?"

Falco smiled and brainstormed an idea "Warcries . Falco Lombardi, let's rock!"

Then it was Slippy's turn "Slippy Toad. We need better missions"

Fox then raised his arm in the air with a melancholy attitude and sighed "Fox McCloud. Just fucking kills me already"

Peppy frowned "Falco, Slippy, you can go patrol" Fox stretched out of his chair but Peppy warned "Fox. **Stay here**. The counsellor will be here in some time. Peppy out" Fox raised an eyebrow. He was always picked for missions, big or small, so why not now when he needed something to forget? His red eyes didn't help him see well, but he was almost like a GPS, he knew where he was going. Deciding to go back to Krystal's room, he saw that she forgot to pack anything before leaving. He had a false smile and thought 'Yes, she'll come back here. She forgot her things'. The single pink note on her dresser however, changed everything. He picked it up and read to himself. It wrote:

"Dear Starfox,

I have decided I am much happy elsewhere. Yes, you **protected me** and yes, you **accommodated **me, but you also **hurt** me. So I left my things back because I don't want to remember anything about my life. I even had the guts to remove the team symbol on the ship. **Because I don't want to be associated with you. **That is all.

Krystal" Fox was shocked. Whenever she left and then came back, she'd **always **leave a love heart before her name. But she was so bland, so cold, so…cruel. He was about to cry when a buzzer rang through the ship. He shuffled on the floor because he couldn't be fucked walking. He looked through the automatic door's hole and saw a messy man who wore his crumpled suit awkwardly. A striped white dress shirt which would've been tucked in had half of the shirt not been all over the place. In a rotten and threatening voice, he roared "Alright, which motherfucker **dares** set his foot here?" The man at the door, already previously nervous, sweated even more and started pulling his collar. A pool of sweat was rusting the Great Fox's infrastructure, with Fox shaking his head. The suited man finally whimpered "Umm…yeah, I am…err…the cou-cou-counsellor General…umm…err…"

Fox interrupted the silence "General Peppy Hare. So he sent you?"

"Yes, that's it. You w-won't believe how fast taxis are these days. Can you let me in please?"

Fox didn't actually want to let him in, but since he gave up on everything, he couldn't miss the opportunity. "Sure, come in. **Just don't touch me. I bite**" The counsellor stepped slowly as if he didn't want to disturb a sleeping dragon. The counsellor regained his confidence and introduced himself "My name is Frank Johnson. Yeah, original, not really. Anyway, get yourself a drink and put on some comfortable music. Can you do that?"

Fox replied "Sure, I'll do that" Then the "evil" part of the break-up process happened to Fox. By 'a drink' Fox thought of his favourite beer, Bubblebutt (now with 12% alcohol!) and by relaxing music, he thought of 'Falco's Slayer albums'. Fox thought "Which first, Raining Blood, South Of Heaven, or Seasons In The Abyss? Definitely Raining Blood. Let's just hope Falco doesn't notice..." Fox collapsed on a lounge where the counsellor rushed over and taking a stool, sat down and flipped out his notepad, filled with thousands of complaints, worries, hallucinations, and an order for Pepperoni's Pizza. Frank raised his eyebrow "Really, Fox? You're gonna play Slayer and drink booze. I don't think that's recovery. I think that's more...escaping the problem desperately. Fox, turn the music off and just tell me" Fox's "emotional" side of the break-up kicked in. He began to tear up, his crying hurting his red eyes. "Well, it's Krystal. She was the love of my life and out of nowhere she said 'I'm sorry Fox. I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving you' And that was it. She was gone. And I was being nice to her"

The counsellor was surprised "Wow, this **did **happen? I have a scoop!" he thought before admitting to Fox "I'm sorry, I'm actually a member of Annoying Paparazzi Magazine. I have a scoop thanks to you. Bye!" and skipped away, leaving the Great Fox. Fox could only say "Motherfucker"

Falco and Slippy came back from their patrol and Falco yelled "What the **fuck**? Why are my Slayer CDs on the floor, you fuckwit? We patrol for a short time and you still fuck up everything! I don't wanna see you anymore. Go back to your room. **And stay there**. Fox was walking to his room when Slippy squealed "Wait! Some dude left his notepad here! It says "Pepperoni Pizza order: 2 for 1 deal. ExtraCheese pizza, and a free Seamen Burger. Must have been the paparazzi" Falco beamed in "Oh, that explains the Slayer CDs! Sorry Fox, get your ass back here. We happen to have a mission for you. Go to Naughty Nipples and get yourself laid. Here's 20 credits. See you later" and clicked his tongue while pointing his finger at him. Fox rushed to his ship and sped off. Falco smiled and said "Haha, he certainly is desperate for a fuck"

Katina City, Katina. 1900 hours...

Fox McCloud had a gleeful smile when he thought of the hot women there. He thought "Ah, boobies. Yeah, I'm in paradise. Wait, I'm supposed to be piloting this thing" and landed his Arwing II on a spaceship-park near Naughty Nipples and a few apartments beside it. He brushed some fur out of his eyes and walked in. Inside, strippers were curling around silver poles and they all exposed breasts. Fox was drooling and some got onto his shirt. He tried wiping it up with his hand but this only created more mess. A big-busted German reindeer swooned "Hey baby, I want to hang your Christmas stocking" Fox chuckled "That's sexy...but it's not Christmas yet. Not for another three months" The reindeer slapped him "I want to fuck you! Come with me" Dizzily, Fox mumbled "Yes, sir" "MADAM!" Another slap.

Inside the bedroom, the reindeer pulled off her panties, exposing a tight vagina. Fox blushed, and showed his attraction with a nosebleed dribbling down the drooled shirt and a bone in his pants. She pulled off his pants, exposing an eight inch penis. Before bending down, she whispered "I'm HIV positive" His boner went down and he quickly pulled on his pants. He yelled "What? You're HIV +?" She bitched "Yes, I am. Now why don't you want me?" Fox yelled "Because I don't want to be diseased, you slut! Keep your legs open somewhere else! Grr..." Fox then stormed out of the love room and walked outside of the club. He took out a packet of cigarettes, picked out one, took out a lighter and smoked the cigarette. Inside, the loud music changed to Stabbing Westward's "I Remember". The lyrics made even the bravest hero cry. The chorus went like this:

"Do you remember?  
I still remember so much  
I remember never feeling so alive  
Do you remember?  
I still can't forget your touch  
We swore that we would never end  
We knew our love transcend space and time"

He jumped back into his ship and made his way back to the Great Fox.

When he returned back, there was Falco with his arms folded but he wasn't angry. Slippy was tapping his foot on the ground impatiently for him. Fox docked his Arwing II into the bay and walked in through the door. Falco greeted "Hey, Foxie, did you get laid?"

Fox sighed "Almost"

Falco gasped but Fox still had a secret to say "...by a girl who was HIV positive"

Falco raised his eyebrow in shock "Dude, so you have HIV?"

"No, of course not!"

Slippy piped in "People who have HIV usually deny it! To the testing room!"

Fox gasped "To the what?..." And so Falco and Slippy put on their medical gloves and Fox's arms were carried by Slippy and his legs were carried by Falco. They strapped Fox McCloud to a table. They slipped on medical coats and mufflers. Slippy muffled "If Fox is HIV +, he's fired from this squad" Falco nodded and said "Fox McCloud, you are being tested to see if you are HIV positive. First we will need you to cough once" Fox coughed and a machine absorbed the air in which he coughed. "Next, we will need a blood sample from you" A needle pierced his skin. It absorbed some of his blood and blood was coming from the hole. "And finally, a sperm sample" Fox gasped "A what?" and a tube was inserted into his crotch and took some sperm for testing. Falco alerted "Well done. You have co-operated in a responsible sense. Slippy will carry you to a holding room and we will determine if you have HIV" Slippy carried Fox by the arm into the holding room. Falco said "Well, we'll have to wait to see if he does carry the disease. If he does, boy am I going to miss him" Then something unusual happened to Falco. He cried. "Fox, let's pray for God to make sure you are healthy. I believe in you. I'm your best friend and I don't want you gone " Slippy took off his gloves, patted his back and comforted him "Yeah, I'm really sorry Falco" Falco sighed "No, it's **my **fault. I made the mission to get him laid. I will regret this for the rest of my life" Then he took off his gloves and gave Slippy an emotional hug. It tugged at their hearts but for a known wimp, Slippy didn't cry. This time, **he was brave. **After a few emotional hours of waiting and hoping, the results came back. HIV **negative. **Falco cheered "Yes! Thank you God! Thank you so fucking much!" He ran around the ship and rolled around the floor in happiness and excitement. Slippy opened the door and told Fox "Fox, we have your results back and judging from Falco's excitement..."

Fox interrupted "I'm okay?"

"Yes, exactly. Now go back to your ship and put clean clothes on. We will arrive at Sector Z in five hours. And we're going to meet someone. Someone familiar"

Five hours later...

Wolf O'Donnell parked his Wolfen on an asteroid at Sector Z. He almost fell asleep when he heard a familiar noise rush up. **The Great Fox**. He said to himself "Well, they finally came here. Good for them. Well time to take her to Mother Glory. Let's go" He moved slowly and carefully to not kill himself. He shook his head in disguise when he saw some graffiti on an engine. "Agenst Furfags. Fuck that idiot. Just because I was born a wolf doesn't mean I'm flying the gay flag" He docked the Wolfen on the one free space there was and turned his stereo off. Wolf walked through the door and Fox yelled "Hey, what's **he **doing here?"

Wolf smirked "Remember me, Fox? Don't worry, I have been crime-free for four years" Falco and Slippy clapped. Fox said "So why do you need to come here?" Wolf replied "Simple, you know Krystal? She decided to run off with Panther. But oh boy, I decided to get my ex-girlfriend Julie to hit on Panther and get them to kiss. **Right in front of Krystal.** And then you can find Krystal at the club. I've sent you co-ordinates to the club. Meet me there at Cornerian time 1900 hours. See you then. Oh and...don't worry, Star Wolf is separated. Ehe, bye..."

Fox rolled his eyes "Bye then Wolf. Geez, I need to get my good clothes out" He turned on ROB 64, who he modified into a slave and ordered him "Get my good clothes please" ROB picked up a talkback attitude and said "Okay but only because you said please" With that, ROB picked up two dress shirts, denim shorts and tight jeans. Fox decided on the denim shorts and the green dress shirt with two wrenches on the back. Fox really liked wrenches. Me, being the narrator, decided to be nosy and look through Fox's bedroom for any dirty magazines (because I am in the mood for them ) I finally found May's copy of Vixxxens magazine when Fox yelled at me "Hey, you're the narrator. This **does not **mean you can rummage through my straight yiff. And yes, **there is **straight yiff" He gave me a boot to the head and I ran off, rubbing my cheek in pain.

At Club Corneria, Panther Caruso and Krystal were sipping their martinis with a gleeful meow smile on their faces. Panther with a purple suit, Krystal with a nice black dress. He licked Krystal's face and swooned "Oh, Krystal, Panther believes you are the light to his room" Krystal blushed and giggled "Oh, you, I wish would just talk in first person"

"But alas, Panther does not feel like it"

"Okay. Suit yourself :)" Krystal walked up to go to the bathroom. Panther shoved over to a young leopardess and flirted "Hey, Panther reckons you're purr-fect" She blushed "Thank you. What's a mercenary doing here?"

"Well, occasionally, Panther does like to party. Come here for a kiss" He leaned over for a kiss when Fox, Falco and Wolf entered the club with Wolf's ex-girlfriend, Julie. Julie, a purple wolf, was shocked that the plan would go off without any of **their **efforts. Panther was a natural cheater. Fox muttered "Damn, damn, damn" Wolf saw Krystal walking from the bathroom and was pulling his collar, trying to get Panther's attention. But damn it, all was lost. Krystal was going to notice in 3...2...1...

"**WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" **yelled a frustrated Krystal. Everyone was shocked and at the same time as the scream, the DJ's disc scratched. **Just in time. ** Her ears fumed upwards and her face grew red. Panther was stammering "But, Kry-Krystal, my sweet rose bud..." Krystal was tearing up and fuming at the same time and yelled "Go away Panther! I hate you! **We're through!**" She proceeded to throw her drink on the floor, causing glass and alcohol to shower the floor. Falco gasped "...and we didn't even have to try once. Geez, Krystal looks upset. This is your chance to cheer her up"

Wolf grumbled "Yeah. Do it for her, for us, and for yourself" Fox straightened himself up and walked over to the crying vixen who everyone seemed to ignore. They were all deaf to her crying. In fact, it was as if nothing ever happened. Krystal ran off through the emergency exit, with her hands wiping her tears. She leaned on the balcony with the stars shining. She sighed and thought "Maybe I should just run away. No-one will ever notice me" Fox took a deep breath of the cold air and walked over to Krystal.

"Hey" Fox tried to start the conversation

"Oh, hello, Fox. Didn't expect to see you here"

Fox sighed "I just came to have a good night, that's all. Never did I expect to see you here"

Krystal slapped him. Sort of hard but also a bit playfully. She came up with this idea "I heard Wolf O'Donnell sent you here because he knew Panther and I would be here. You really did want me back, didn't you, no?"

Fox rolled his eyes and sarcastically muttered "No, I just wanted to binge-drink and wind up in bed with the wrong girl in bed, like I always do. Of course I wanted you back..." but his sentence was cut short by a kiss. A long, passionate, sexy and sweet kiss. And just when it couldn't be better, it was. Cinema Bizarre's "Forever Or Never" played in the background with the following lyrics bringing happy tears to Fox and Krystal's eyes:

"I'm not gonna live forever  
Said I'm not gonna live forever  
better make it now or never"

Just as they were going good, Fox was sexually aroused and his penis poked Krystal's dress. He blushed, brushed away slightly and stammered "Umm...this, this er-er-um...sorry" Krystal hugged him and squealed "Don't worry. It means you truly love me" Applause came from Wolf, Julie, Falco and Slippy who watched them from inside. Falco cheered "Yay for the two vulpines! Now Krystal, are you ready to re-join Starfox?"

Krystal smiled "Of course. That's why I left my stuff. Because I knew someday I'd be coming back home. Thanks guys. Especially you, Fox. I love you."

Fox, filled with glee, smiled "Thanks Krys. But what about the note?"

Krystal was confused "The one I wrote? Oh, forget about it"

Slippy shrugged "Well we can go home now"

Krystal frowned "But I don't have my Arwing. Panther used it for uhh...his private needs...and I'm not touching **that**"

Everyone squirmed in disgust. Fox turned on his wrist-com and told ROB 64 "Report back to base"

And ever since that day, Fox and Krystal promised to never leave each other again. And they told the truth. The End.


End file.
